Juan died

El Firme’s big news for the last 9 days has been the unexpected death of my Landlord. I had written a negative blog about him but all said and done the finality that death brings is an odd feeling. He was in his late 40’s and drank too much and didn’t take care of himself. He had a few trips to the hospital and then I’m in the middle of building a latrine and find out that he had died. It was really fast and unexpected. Another great reason to live life to the fullest every day.

I have gone to many funerals here but this was the first person I really knew and interacted with that has passed away. The funeral process last nine days, called the novena, with the first and last being the most important to attend. People wear black and white or specific other colors to demonstrate their relationship to the deceased. Dominican kids are taught that you should cry and moan to show your sadness and it will help you get through it I was recently told. I have been asked many times if I cry and I tell them I try not to in public, and they wonder why that is. I hear myself trying to explain why that is but even I think it’s overall sort of ridiculous of me. I think that 4 year olds are emotionally evolved. When they are mad, they are mad. When they are sad, they are sad. Life is that simple. Somewhere along the line maybe we worry about appearance or impression and get emotionally constipated and can’t figure out what or why we feel things.

Juan’s wife Mica has been a good friend to me since I arrived in my site. She has participated in many of my events and is a main component in the success of the reusable bag competition. She also dealt with her husband hitting on countless women who came through the colmado as the culture here unfortunately generally permits with no second thought. At the funeral, Mica was mourning as she was expected to do. She will be the only one that will really ever know what she thinks about the whole matter.

The whole community depends on their store for their main daily purchases and without Juan in the community it has affected a lot of people’s daily routines. Finding a reliable source of a few veggies is now even harder. I disliked Juan but had learned how to deal with him simply because I had to but his death leaves the whole community with a strange feeling of finality and a lot of questions.